Brick Crushers

This weekend I had the opportunity to go on a board retreat to work on planning for 2018 for a girl’s organization I am honored to be a part of. In between planning, I was able to interact and enjoy the company of two virtious and powerful women. As I reflect back over the weekend, I found a quote that sums up these two women:

Both of these women have amazing stories of how they have and continue to overcome the “bricks” that life has thrown their way. They are also both dedicated to helping others overcome their bricks. I believe that you have to surround yourself with people who inspire and these two women inspire me daily.

We all have “bricks” that are thrown at us. What makes you successful is how you deal with those bricks. I tell my clients “you can’t change the things that have happened to you, but you can choose how you allow those things to affect you today and in the future.” Each one of us has to make the decision to either let go of past hurts or use those hurts in a positive way. If we do not make one of these two choices, then we are doomed to live an unfilled life.

This weekend has reminded me that I am successful and I have crushed the bricks of my past. It has also given me confidence that I will continue to be successful crushing new bricks because I choose to handle them with wisdom, maturity, and class in the same manner I watch these two women.

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How Will You Choose to Deal with Opposing Views?

This past week has been interesting to say the least. Emotions continue to be high as one president exits and another one enters. I found myself having to unfriend someone I have known since I was an undergraduate in college because of the personal attacks he made against others whom I am friends with during a conversation on Facebook. Here is the status that I posted after I unfriended him: “Please understand that I post about things that I care about and are my views. I love to spark debate as long as it is done properly. That is the point of some of my posts. I will not tolerate disrespect. Personal attacks is not the way to change someone’s view on an issue. Don’t quote the Bible if you don’t live by it. You will be blocked!” I am an advocate for having conversations about difficult subjects with people of different view points. That is how change happens whether it is someone adjusting to my view, or me to theirs. But we as a society have to learn how to have conversations without resorting to personal attacks.

I have also been dealing with an issue with a family where the teenager has dug her heels in and is refusing to see reason because she does not want to be seen as weak in the eyes of her peers even though her safety is in jeopardy. Today it hit me that what we have witnessed over the past couple of days is a great testimony. There was an expectation that the inauguration attendance would be record breaking, but instead people showed their voice by not showing up. Now I know there is discrepancy about how many people were there, but pictures truly are worth a thousand words. The very next day women across the United States gathered and marched for women rights. So many so they have not been able to collect the numbers yet. The statement of silence the day before and peaceful protest the next day spoke volumes! And how fitting that this all occurred the week we celebrated Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday!

Our challenge today is teaching youth that they can show more strength by using wisdom to deal with conflict. Many of the past conflicts I have dealt with have been shut down and resolved using silence, peaceful protest, kindness, love, and a smile. So I challenge us all to use wisdom in how we approach things and find a different way of responding to those who have views that are in conflict with out own.

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#100HappyDays

100 days ago I decided to become apart of the social media phenomenon #100HappyDays! I am happy to report that today I have become apart of the 27% of people who completed this challenged. I became interested when I saw several friends on Facebook posting their happy days. I decided to research and find out what this was all about. I went to the website #100HappyDays where I found the information for the challenge to post something happy from your day for 100 days. The site reported:

“People successfully completing the challenge claimed to:

 – Start noticing what makes them happy every day;
 – Be in a better mood every day;
 – Start receiving more compliments from other people;
 – Realize how lucky they are to have the life they have;
 – Become more optimistic;
 – Fall in love during the challenge.”
 
So i figured why not! What do I have to lose?! I opened an Instagram account (DrShanWalks@Instagram) and started posting. (You can click on the link and go to my page to review my 100 days!)
 
I should also note that I began this quest shortly after getting out of the hospital, being demoted at work, and going on a mission trip a week later. A difficult period to say the least!
 
Today as I look back over the 99 pictures that I have posted, I relived some beautiful moments. I will be the first one to tell you that there were days when it took me 20 minutes to find something in my day to be happy about. But I found on the days when I did not do it, things just did not feel right! I would review the days I missed and post to catch up. I tried to make sure I never got behind more than two days.
 
Finding something to be happy about has carried me through my dark days. At a time when suicide has been pushed in the spotlight again (with the untimely death of comedian Robin Wiliams, RIP), I feel this is a tool that I will challenge clients, friends, and family to use as a coping skill to combat depression.
 
I will say everything on the list that the website developers stated would happen, happen except the falling in love. Darn it! LOL But you know it doesn’t matter that the last one on the list did not occur because I can honestly say that I have been blessed by this experiment. So much so that I think I will keep going. Who knows maybe falling in love is around the corner.
 
Some of my friends have been wondering what I would post for my 100th day. I have this a lot of thought and decided to post a collage of my favorite people and things collected from posts from the last 100 days. So here it is!
100th Day