Talking to Your Child

Originally, my goal was to write a blog weekly, but it is not realistic for two reasons. First, I want this blog to be meaningful. I do not want to write to just to write. This became evident as I sat in front of my computer trying to force something out. Second, I have a demanding schedule and finding time weekly is a lot. So my new commitment is to blog at least once a month and any over is just extra.

talking parent

So for February I want to focus on communicating with your child. From the #MeToo Movement to the Florida school shooting, children are being exposed to a lot via the media. First and foremost, as a parent you first have to use active listening. Most people listen long enough to react instead of waiting to hear the person out, and then form a response. This also means not engaging in another activity while they are talking. And using nonverbal signals to show that you are engaged in what they are saying.

Second, reflect back what they stated to make sure that you got a clear understanding of what they are trying to say. This gives your child an opportunity to correct any wrong perception prior to you potentially making a quick judgment.

Third, ask questions for clarification and shows that you really were paying attention. Not to mention it gives clarification, point two.

Fourth, give them the reasons behind your answer. I grew up in the era of “Because I said so!” Children will accept a negative response better if they first are heard, and second they can have some type of understanding of your reasoning.

Fifth, do not ignore their questions just because you are uncomfortable with the topic. You would rather your child get answers from you then from their friends or the internet. You are also able to control what they learn first. If you need advice on how to approach the topic, schedule a later time to talk and then research.

And sixth, if you find that your child needs more assistance understanding the subject, seek out a professional to help. There have been a number of times I see a client who states they have been asking for therapy for months/years. No child is going to ask for therapy just for fun.

I hope these suggestions are helpful for you talking with your children. Feel free to ask any questions.

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Residue

So this post is going to seem disjointed, but stick with me and it will come together in the end.

Everyone knows that I am making a lifestyle change that includes weight loss. I have some amazing in person supporters as well a several online support groups. Over the past week one of my online friends has been struggling. She has lost a lot of weight and looks gorgeous. In fact I consider her to be one of the leaders in our group. She had an upcoming event and brought this amazing blue dress. She tried it on, but when she looked in the mirror all she saw was the old her with the weight. We all gave her encouragement, but she struggled the whole week. I am happy to report that she stated she felt beautiful on the day of the event at the end of the week.

A couple of days ago I asked my mom to pick me up some bar soap. I usually get Ivory, but she said I am going to get you Dove because it does not leave residue like the others.

Today I am tired. I have worked 6 days for the past 3 weeks and ended up working well over 40 hours this week even though I only worked 5 days. My body has been pushed and I am tired. Despite this I was determined that I was going to church today! I was late, but I pushed through. God had a deliverance waiting for me! Prophetess Meshell Lavergne spoke this morning on not accepting the role of victim that society tells us that we are. She encouraged us to take on the description of VICTORIOUS and OVERCOMER! There was a powerful move of God.

I found myself being led to intercede while people were coming down to the alter. Apostle Mark Jones did one last call and said there is some of you all who have residue left from divorce. I don’t remember what he said after that. All I knew was while I thought I had cleared out my baggage and was busy praying for others, God tapped me on the shoulder and showed me I had some residue to clear. I thought I had worked through all my issues regarding my divorce and nothing wqas left. I realize there are times when I feel like I will never find my husband and I am destined to be alone. I often wonder will I ever have a biological child? There are thoughts that creep in about being good enough though I know for a fact that I am. I struggle with these insecurities at times. This is the left over residue talking. But today I washed the residue away!

So what does this have to do with the other two stories? We all have things that we have been through that we thought we had dealt with and no longer is an issue. For my online friend she is still struggling with some body image issues even though she is not that person that she used to look at and did not like. For me, I had left over residue from a marriage that I know I was never meant to be in. I did not even realize there was residue there. I thought I had dealt with that issue and let it go. How many of us are walking around with left over residue we don’t realize is there? This morning my Dove soap came in the form of a word delivered through a message from Prophetess Meshell, a hearing of the Holy Spirit from Apostle Jones, and a powerful prayer by Michelle Guess, ultimately from God. I encourage you to find your Dove soap and wash off the residue of your past issues!